G430:Hopefully not mine!
I bought him a couple of wines...

Carpe Diem!: I would just hope that my rate of promotion might be a quicker ascension than yours!! You obviously lack talent as it has taken you years to rise above the level of Bilge Boy.
As the Rear-Admiral admits....it was only out of pity that they offered you SQM.
Perhaps Rourky is correct, when he refers to you as...Crap Diem??

TrotOn: ...the docs are obviously confidential to those officers who have successfully completed their induction. Yours has only just begun! 🤔

Carpe Diem!: I will still refer to you as the Bilge Boy....until I see the signed copy of your promotion to SQM by your superiors, The Captain and Rear-Admiral. I don't want to hear any wimpish excuses that vermin...have also eaten your promotion documents also 😈

TrotOn: Thank you (I'm now Senior Quarter Master - SQM - BTW). I'll send you a long PM regarding what you appear to find amusing David. It will be "constructive"...😀

Carpe Diem!: Bilge Boy....love your humour😋

Deka: TrotOn: ...at least I generate interest ...😀

Deka:😀😈
I thought as much. Al and I bolted the Barn door on Friday night, assuming the Bilge Boy...was indeed...rat arsed when we left him...trying to access the womens quarters...only to find him returning...wimpering at the quarter windows...unable to gain access with his key...which says all you need to know!
I thought his trousers were bulging...with the rats.

TrotOn: well, if Saturday night in Ambleside is anything to go by, he must have been ratted most of the week. Who knows what were down those baggy Viking pants he wore. Maybe a few rats and the odd ferret.

I wonder....could it be possible that your Bilge Boy (Senior Quarter Master) may have taken a rat home with him from your voyage?
I only ask...as he is making a claim that two dogs at his residence have been accused of eating his chocolate...the tooth marks shown as evidence..look like vermin have been in his quarters. 🙂

Oh, I forgot, after years of trying we, out of sympathy, promoted you to SQM. Obviously, the complainant doesn't appreciate quality. Like me, my axe was forged in Sheffield from the finest steel in the world.😋

Deka: Senior Quarter Master (SQM)if you please. Axe-wise,yours is the first complaint I've ever had 😀

As Bilge Boy, you can't brag about your little axe can you.