Ok, how about we try a limerick?...

I hope I may have made some of you smile 🙂(along with those who contributed with the thong, bits and bra 😮😂), and to those I have offended I apologise once again. ☹ Try to keep your spirits up over the coming weeks, everyone.🙂

But a lot of you are probably going to need people both to create threads and keep them going to help stave off the boredom over the coming weeks, so do help yourself and/or others by getting involved - well done to those who already have. 👍

I've never sent anyone on this site a lewd private message. I don't join many invites (and will now probably never dare show my face again!) but I hope anyone I've walked with would say that they didn't find me lewd (I'm actually nervous and a poor communicator in company) - who knows, I may see some of you somewhere at sometime after we're through this. 🙂

COVID-19 has made very little difference to me (sad old git that I am) as I'm retired, live on my own, rarely have visitors, and normally go out only for shopping and a daily walk on my local roads. I'm therefore very lucky, because I'm going to find the lock-down much easier to cope with than most people will - even if they stop us going out for exercise, it won't bother me much as I'll just do some extra indoors on my stationary bike, which is my main form of exercise (pain😮) these days in any case.

Apologies to anyone I have offended ☹- there was little on the thread on Monday to suggest that I had done or would do (in fact, rather to the contrary: 🙂 'There was a good thread on the forum' / 'But most said OK To a little risque' / 'Perfect John!') and nobody has messaged me about it, but it's Miss T's thread and I'll withdraw from it now before I cause any more trouble. 😮

I don't contribute to the site very often (which is probably just as well!) and I don't need it to entertain me now any more than I do normally.

Yes, it’s ok to post alternatives after a limerick has been completed 🙂 ...but could you pleeease stop with the smut/innuendo now, as other members are finding it offensive....& that’s the last thing I wanted when I started this thread.☹
Thank you.

Oops... limerick, not Limerick ...

Are alternative versions allowed after a Limerick has been completed, Miss T (not posted in the middle of one which is being constructed of course), or is that being naughty? 😮

e.g. Fred the Froggy v2

There once was a froggy named Fred,
Who one night collapsed into bed,
Exhausted from jumping,
And far too much humping, (carrying heavy objects 😇)
He was lucky not to be dead!

(Sorry for changing your line yesterday, S.A.M - very rude of me. 👎☹)

Philtheetiler: Exactly! 😂

Tautology said Fred !

But uniquely diurnal

Unlike the others he was not nocturnal

Each night he was grateful for bed

oops...
There once was A froggy named Fred....

There once was froggy named Fred...

New rule folks....

Only ONE line per person per limerick!😋😀
And no changing someone else’s lines!😋😀

Miss T: at least you never missed a line out 😃

Let’s try that again....

There was a bald man who lived in a van.
Who liked to be outside getting a tan,
The ladies would swoon,
From midnight til noon,
As they wafted themselves with a fan!

The ladies would swoon,
When he sang them a tune,
And they wished he would show them his organ (or-gan).

(Hello Dale, it's me again 😮)

The ladies would swoon.....

Who liked to be outside getting a tan..

There was a bald man that lived in a van..

👍😂😂

But most said OK
To a little risque
We certainly don't want to bore 'em

That lacked in the way of decorum....😂

There was a good thread on the forum

Yes, very good S.A.M.😀 Actually, you could reasonably claim that you had (very cleverly) finished it yesterday, before I restored the rhyming scheme. It was the fact that Gatepostgazer's line didn't rhyme that made it so funny! 😂😂

Very good!😀

It may be best if we don’t mention body parts (like above), as I don’t want anyone getting into trouble.
☹

And I AM 😀😀!

?? Apart from the last one (which I tried to rescue after it had gone haywire 😮😂, and still has a version to be completed), I didn't contribute more than one line to any of them (although I did write alternative versions for some after they were finished). A lot of the others had multiple contributions – but not from me!
Are bras and tits any worse than thongs and bits? 😮 (that rhymes!) - keep smiling everyone.🙂

M1960: I do love your enthusiasm...😀....but could you just calm down a bit & stop getting carried away!....please!😀
Give other folks a chance to join in & add their own lines.👍
Ta muchly,
T.🙂
P.S please keep it clean & non offensive folks!

I'll finish off the clean version:

She lifted her arm,
Which caused great alarm,
But managed to bottle her anger.

Gatepostgazer clearly doesn't care about the rhyming, as long as there are some tits involved (👍😂😂😂 ... I'm laughing so much I can hardly type 😂😂)

😮😂

She exposed a long scar,
When she took off her bra ...

Or ...

She lifted her arm,
Which caused great alarm ...

A naughty young lady from Bangor,
Was on the sofa in a state of languor,
She lifted her arm....

(Sorry, I missed out 'once' @ 14:14 - There once was a chap from Chinley,)

You're obviously as warped as I am! 😂😂

Let's have a go at:

A naughty young lady from Bangor ...

There was a chap from Chinley,
Who had a dog called Finlay,
For a visit to pay,
They did walk a long way,
As his friends were spread rather thinly.

I've had another go at a couple of the earlier ones:

There was an old rascal from Nott's,
Who was guilty of many strange plots,
He invented a pill,
To make people ill,
So they came out covered in spots.

Or …
He told all his mates
To fasten their gates,
And then he glued up all the locks.

👍😂

A spritely young Chap from Dunkirk,
Said to himself with a smirk,
'If I go out today,
And roll in the hay,
Then I'll look an absolute berk.'

...and 'cos you're here mostly...

“I’m watching you closely....

A spritely young chap from Dunkirk,
Said to himself with a smirk ...

😂

I was thinking of:

From morning till night,
And again at first light,

but you beat me to it!

Gatepostgazer: I thought you'd written two lines in one - the rhyming scheme is AABBA:
There once was a woman from York,
And boy she did nothing but talk,
From morning till night,
Her jaw never stayed tight,
So they filled up her mouth with a cork.

A spritely young chap from Dunkirk...

So they filled up her mouth with a cork.

And boy she did nothing but talk...

Who had a dog called Finlay...

There once was a chap from Chinley!😉.....

which was snatched off his bits by a gull

He wobbled along....

who on mountaintops often would mull

There once was a hiker from Hull....

❤

Aw man Ruby, you just bet me to the last line !!!!!

Hahaha mi Dale

Of the mischief he had made, there was lots!!!

And his lies just tied him in knots.

Until he reeked...

he sneaked and he peeked

Who was guilty of many strange plots ...

There was an old rascal from Nott’s...

😂

He espied a whale's tail...

Sorry Walking On - I was too slow again!😮

who went out looking for snails ...

who liked to tell a tall tale

Shall I start again?lol

There was a tall walker from Wales....

😂😂😂

I wondered why I hadn't got the same Emojis - I thought it might be due to my archaic computer! 😮

Sorry Site Admin, you beat me to it

Nothing to apologise for S.A.M. - are we using long or short vowel sounds for this one? 😂😂

Billy climbed into his camper
As the weather was turning much damper 🌧

He considered himself a 'real' man,

M1960: Press [F5] on your keyboard for new Emojis 😀👍

... we pronounce 'bath' and 'path' as 'barth' and 'parth' 🤔

... but you've still got the 'f' sound instead of 'th'

😀 Well done Site Admin!

😮 I think we speak English down here 😀
... tripped, and fell in the hearth ... is the best I can think of. 🤔

slipped and started to laff 😀
Is misspelling to force a rhyme allowed? 🤔

No, I know it isn't quite right, and neither is laugh - there is assonance though. 🤔

or .... slipped, and started to laugh.

slipped, and tore her right calf.

then went up the stair

She looked here and there...

Who searched and searched for the path.....

There was a young lady from Bath....

In a flash he then turned
And departed the scene in a hurry

His stomach churned,

Yey! Steve knows how it should be done😋

Where were we.....

There was an old man from Surrey
Who ate an enormous chicken curry....

Hold it right there you lot!!! Do you not know how a limerick works?? 🤔

Read carefully....

The second line should rhyme with the first line...
The the third line should rhyme with the fourth line...
And the fifth line (the last) should rhyme with the first line!!
How hard can it be?lol

Off we go again then.....

There was an old man from Surrey...

Was Once a Greek perhaps now a sheikh

Who married a man who was Greek

a significant other she did seek

There was an old lady from Leek,
Who dated a man that was Greek,
He offered Mousaka,
Waved his aubergine at her,
So she gave him a slap for his cheek!