Telegram From The Admiralty - Meals & Rankings

08/08/2014 19:59
by BM Bionic Man

A 3 course evening meal on the 9th Aug at YHA for 13.50 ยฃ/headless.
Please email me if you require meal or not!

Meet up Friday evening at the Wateredge Inn Friday 7.45pm no reservations allowed anyway.

The Admiralty has declared the following rankings in no particular order๐Ÿ™‚
Alpine Hiker - Commander
Molley- Ableseadog
Stargazer - Skipper
MMN - Yeomen
Spring - landlubber
LesleyW- Commadore
MagM - Wren
Ruthie - Master Petty Officer
Beatrix - Purser
JK28 - Quatermaster
46 YY - Structural Mechanic
Deka - Admiral
Carpe Diem! - Bilge Boy
Lizzied - Aerographer
Flower Power - Ships Surgeon
Corrie - Gunner
Kate B - 1st Lieutenant
Elderflower - Boatswain
Rourky - Navigator

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davem 08/08/2014 19:59

Im comming up earl tomoz.....for a walk....and a few beers.....is there any accommodation left or camping spots

Bionic Man 07/08/2014 17:26

Will the Bilge boy and the rest of the crew stay below decks until the commissioned officers are saluted and piped aboard????

Carpe Diem! 07/08/2014 14:58

Hullmale thah art a braggart of furst order. As fuh evry man fuh 'imself, ah'll be lookin' owt fuh yuh an' thah rottin' eye. Ah reelly luv al 'o ma shippmaytes an' wud nae 'arm a maggott harrr harrr harrr โ˜น๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿค”

KC 06/08/2014 23:18

Anyone around Thursday evening? Will be camping at Low Wray in a big white van if anyone us around. Karen

The Mind is Willing 06/08/2014 22:43

Have a great weekend guys and stop bickering! - you know you love each other really! ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ x

Carpe Diem! 06/08/2014 22:29

ehup Stirguzzler - ah nay shore ah wud trussed that Betricks wenchh wif anny cassh๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”

Carpe Diem! 06/08/2014 22:27

Decckerrr - ah wil allways 'old onta ma parutt - wud be a lost sole agin wifout 'im -poss mah ownly frend in hole world โ˜น๐Ÿ˜‹

Bionic Man 06/08/2014 15:41

Would all pirates please pay the purser (Beatrix) ยฃ5 to cover cost of diesel & mooring. Many Thanks๐Ÿ™‚

Deka 05/08/2014 09:29

Carpe Diem!: You just keep hold of yer parott if it meks thi feel good.

Carpe Diem! 04/08/2014 22:39

Ma ownly pal iss mee parott Deckahand

Deka 01/08/2014 20:10

Carpe Diem!: As Admiral bilge boy, all I would say to you is ow ta win frends n inflense pple

Carpe Diem! 01/08/2014 18:35

Hey SG - ah got booze man๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚ CD

Carpe Diem! 01/08/2014 18:34

hul mallet thou art a sluggish slugg an' thah cud nae shoot a stattyou .Yah boo sukks๐Ÿ˜‹

Bionic Man 01/08/2014 13:04

*** Telegram Sailing ***
Friday - Hillmale, Beatrix, Flower Power, Kate B, Alpine Hiker, KC, Rourky.
Saturday - Vee & Dawm + any other takers?
Sunday - am all those departing lakes on Sunday
Sunday - pm all those not departing Sunday (booze cruise)
Can sort out who is sailing on Sunday am or pm on saturday evening๐Ÿ™‚

Bionic Man 31/07/2014 13:12

*** telegram ***
Would Gunner (Corrie) & Ordancewomen (Born Free)
report to Royal Marine Commando (Hillmale) on arrival for firing squad practice๐Ÿ™‚

Carpe Diem! 28/07/2014 23:02

Stirguzzller ..thah wood nae no keel haulin' if it jummped up an' slaped thah uggly musshh ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹

Carpe Diem! 28/07/2014 22:59

Wills ....ma pumpin' an' sqweezin' is 'ighly rated so go sqweeze yuh blac'eads and keep thah boorin' garidge storeys yuh miserubull selff

Carpe Diem! 28/07/2014 22:55

go suck thy inadequate telescope Decka ๐Ÿ˜‹ thah needs tuh look out fuh the limpin' dwarf ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

Deka 28/07/2014 16:47

Carpe Diem!: As Admiral,I will not have you talking to my Skipper in that manner. Your insubordination before our venture even commences is unacceptable and I will certainly be keeping an eye on you through out the voyage bilge boy.

Lesley wills 28/07/2014 16:01

A rancid squid instead of the evening meal sir gizzard I feel for BB, known as carp on Demi, for his lack of understanding on what it takes to make your team of sea worthy or lake worthy sailers. He has no tool skills as to speak of, I saw him try to fill up his car with petrol on one occasion and once in the station had to ask for assistance,....the pump holding and squeezing at the same time was just too much to work out. So hold to your excellent list and we will all do you proud well expect for BB. Who we will just have to keep in check ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

Bionic Man 28/07/2014 15:41

Please note Carpe Diem! The only punishment for INSUBORDINATION is KEEL-HAULING๐Ÿ™‚

Carpe Diem! 28/07/2014 14:30

..an' if thou art "skipper" 'ave yuh gotta skipping rope? (As befits a 7 year old schoolgirl)๐Ÿ˜ˆ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

Carpe Diem! 28/07/2014 14:25

.... Mr Starguzzler...this therefore begs several questions: Critically - have you assessed 46YY's tool collection ?(Hah - I VERY much doubt it!!!!)
To summarize..I consider my Bilge Boy ranking to be a bilious, hideous error on your part (giving Rurky the Navigator's post is even more of a joke - surely it IS a joke? And no-one is less suited to be a commodore than Wills who is by any definition clearly a lower seawench). I am just a tad annoyed and have bloody revenge in my thoughts. I hate you as I hate a rancid squid - the rankings are insulting to the whole Diem clan ... I look forward to the revised list. CDโ˜นโ˜น๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

Carpe Diem! 28/07/2014 14:16

Dear Mr Stargazer.
I have to express discomfort, alarm, distress and anger at my Bilge Boy ranking. I feel that I deserve better after two sweaty and deeply unpleasant years slopping out and serving my time below deck. Mr Stargazer I also have to question your sanity in giving 46YY the Mechanic post. His whimpering performance last year as a deckhand was pathetic in the extreme and you know that I have long dreamed, nay cherished the Mechanic's post myself. A trained cock-winder, sorry clock-winder, I consider myself not only to be suitably attired for this promotion but in addition I have assembled a humble collection of tools in anticipation of this year's jaunt. TO BE CONTINUED

alpine hiker 26/07/2014 11:13

Details of walks now posted on invites. Any queries please get in touch. 'Commander' Don't know how that happened bribery and corruption works wonders.

Rourky 25/07/2014 20:03

Lowering the tone, that last comment was not an instruction either ๐Ÿ˜‹

Rourky 25/07/2014 20:01

That'll be Roger, Rodney.

Beekeeper 25/07/2014 18:29

Lizzied - think you have to spot the wind, not create it.
Thankful to see that there is no cabin boy or girl!

lizzied 25/07/2014 17:21

Ooooooh- does aerographer mean I have to pass a lot of wind? I'll do me best!!! Do scurvy seadogs eat baked beans?

Bionic Man 25/07/2014 13:08

The world is round so any direction.
Meet up points on invite + Saturday for non-walkers.

Rourky 25/07/2014 12:49

Where are we going again Skipper and in which direction ?????????? ๐Ÿ˜‹

Ohh and put me down for 13 quids worth of bush tucker at the YHA as well Skipper please. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Bionic Man 25/07/2014 11:51

If you are a wren MadMag you don't have to bend down far๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway Sharpen u cutlass & practice your aim๐Ÿ™‚ for boarding the Black Pearl.
Please bring your favourite tipple on board & something to share & snack. Like a pie or salad stuff. Thanks

MadMag 24/07/2014 23:44

If I'm a wren on your boat, does that make me a sea bird or a fresh water fowl?

Morningdawn 24/07/2014 22:47

Sorry to miss out again, would have loved to have been a seawench. Enjoy yourself you scurvy seadogs ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Bionic Man 24/07/2014 16:02

Other ranking๐Ÿ™‚
Ally & Dave - Coxswain & Mate
TMiW - 2nd Commadore of the Fleet
GoingforGold - Cockpit Officer
Maggie - Barsteward
Vee & Dawn - Ableseawomen & mate
KC - Cooper
Hillmale - Royal marine commando

Poopdeck scrubber & seawench positions open