Fantastical Fantasies of a Scafell Mogolob

......and soiled, at that!!!!!!

Carpe Diem!: I have noted, that when pressured to tell the truth, suddenly, all information becomes confidential.

Did you actually pass the entrance exam for Bilge Boy?

I need to see the documentation...not like last time...when you had written it yourself on toilet tissue😉

TrotOn: if you'd been awake you'd know the answers to all these questions! You would also know that they're confidential 😉

Carpe Diem!: Your parole ends on which Sunday? You mentioned the third Sunday, March 2018?😋
Ullswater Steamers are advertising a position of SQM on their boats next year. Are you applying? I won't say you lost Pooh Sticks by the width of the bridge to Al. Did you put yours in at the same time? 🤔

alpine hiker: oh and please place the word "debacle" after "Sticks" x

alpine hiker: it's "SENIOR" QM...I realise your Pooh Sticks has hit you hard and I'm thinking of you🤔

Could I say Whine Diem, sorry! Carpe Diem that I won Pooh stick race which is one reason I'm a commander and you are bilge boy. The captain has yet to confirm your promotion to assistant Quarter master.....

Janhk: Carpe Diem! was awarded a prize for coming second out of two in Pooh Sticks.
That's simply LAST with me, but we all felt sorry for the poor chap...so awarded him a carton of magic mushrooms, to help him produce a good poem...not this fantasy stuff he has come up with.🤔

Janhk: I've had to put up with this all week! 😉Thank goodness the parole ends on Sunday🙂

Really... what are you lot on! Is it a competition? 😋🤔

Carpe Diem!: On second thoughts....are you lost again??

😈😈😈

Carpe Diem!: Rumour has it you are in hiding? 😀

What's worse...hilmale giving the little blighter a manhug OR Sarah snapping your little wrist at arm wrestling?

I still have Al's bag of cash on the outcome!!

Do you know how to apologise to everyone? 😋😋😉😀

Carpe Diem!: How many mushrooms did you scoff?

Carpe Diem!: Calm down Son....who are you picking a fight with now?😋

hillmale: they were the only ones who could understand what you were saying! 😀

Carpe Diem!: Yes....I know...you are right...the mushrooms must be affecting me too.

So long, as you promise NEVER to lead a walk on your own!

Try and start with a long piece of string...then work up from there!
As you lost the whole cafe, the other day, when it was the only building in miles....I do get worried.

Just good that Al and I could show you where you left...your "chopstick"

TrotOn: come on D ... now I know you found the lessons hard....

catwalker: Thanks...but I don't want to imagine meeting him again, anytime soon!

Carpe Diem!: I promise to wipe your brow when you and Sarah have the arm wrestling match!
Plenty DNA then🙂

TrotOn: David, I don't break sweat when I walk with you...

catwalker: really??? I can't 😋

Carpe Diem!: Cheers but I have yours already....you left plenty of sweat on your beloved walking pole!!
I had a nice coffee yesterday...at the quiet side of Ullswater.😀

TrotOn: sorry ... my DNA is sacred ...

Carpe Diem!: I will buy you a lolly next time I see you...to keep you silent.
I might need a DNA sample from you...I was never that good at English...but always had an inbuilt sense of direction.😉

🤔

TrotOn: "son???" "SON???"...omg ...I knew it...this is my worst nightmare ...

Carpe Diem!: Those mushrooms must still be working!

You've just lost it son....are you feeling OK?

TrotOn: it's called a colloqweealism...I'll explain next time we meet

What's "gonna" mean anyway?

You were a teacher? No wunda I can't spell.

Carpe Diem!: That's a NO then?

TrotOn: ps I am not even gonna bother answering whether I own a map or not (...it's confidential...)

TrotOn: hmmmm ...spelling yes, punctuation debatable e.g. Skills'

Carpe Diem!: Jonathan, what can I say to this? Well done, although you may expect a few repercussions!
It might add a little spice to the arm wrestling? 😉🤔🤔🤔🤔

The Magic Mushrooms, which you won, for coming SECOND, out of two in Pooh Sticks...were meant to help your literacy skills...not cause you to ad lib all this fantasy stuff.

Al and I care so much about you, even we wouldn't let you try and find Scafell Pike on your own, never mind climb it on your Cub Badge Map Skills Course. Do you actually own a map?

Lastly, Crap Diem!

I have checked the spelling, to the best of my ability...and it all looks right today.😋😋😋 😈

CONTINUED...


yep, Al, Dave and Jeff,
now drowsin' in stupor,
(looks like they're
in need of BUPA).
So ah left them there,
red-faced and supine,
an' Scafell on me own,
returned to climb...
up in an hour,
an' down in less
(unlike this morning's
hopeless mess),
not held back wi' tales of woe,
but a springy chicken,
wi' sprightly toe,
leaping over clumps and rocks,
an' I did it all
in me bright red socks,
ah din't have to listen
to those four's ills,
now I call me-self
"OD's Bear Grills"!

ENOUGH... let's get ready for Everest...Jx

CONTINUED...


POOH-STICKS - A JOYOUS DIVERSION...
Al offered his best,
but his stick was too frail,
mine sailed away,
he started to flail,
we couldn't spot
his meagre craft,
he burst into tears,
as the rest of us laughed...

ARM-WRESTLER SARAH'S SAD DEMISE...
Slippery-dippery, didgery-doo,
so now we come to you-know-who,
she TALKED the walk (and brought her dog),
but competitively-wise,
was in a fog...

Sarah's palm, 'twas in the air,
but when I looked,
it was nae there,
not knowing me strength,
ah'd slammed it down,
and foresaid Sarah
looked a clown...
At table-tennis, she fared e'en worse,
'twas almost like
a dreadful curse,
of trying hard wi' nowt to show,
"I'm off to bed,
I gotta go..."
proverbial tail,
between her legs,
an' there was me,
left wi' the dregs...

CONTINUED...

So here was my chance
to harness my skills
to be the Big Leader
and champ-yon those hills,
I 'ad all the gear,
me cv is strong,
I marched to the front
and ad-dressed my throng.
A sorry sight, bedraggled and bent,
they needed coaxin'
but on we went...
as Sarah she crumbled,
Al, he mumbled,
Jeff looked confused
and Dave, he just bumbled.
But get there we did,
a summit quite fine,
yet even up there, they did nowt
but whine,
whinge and croak, and splutter and cough,
but I held my own,
and me Cub Cap did doff,
yes, all those years of scouting came good,
as I pulled those four down,
all covered in mud,
(Kip, Rebel and Mollie, were boundin',
in contrast,
(ashamed of their charges,
to me they stuck steadfast...)

Fantastical Fantasies of a Scafell Mogolob

Flippety-jippety, my fat hen,
we went up Scafell
then I went up again.
The crack around this,
my friends, is unique,
so into this tale
I'll give you a peek...

Al and Sarah, Dave and Jeff
(all who get quickly
out of breff),
I had to drag around, you see
(to the challenge, at first,
they responded with glee),
Al and Dave were chompin' to lead,
whilst Sarah and Jeff, some help did need...
Al looked smartish and Dave had a map,
but within a few feet, he started to flap,
Al soon looked worn and Jeff had a limp,
Sarah kept moanin',(a right little wimp).