Fantastical Fantasies of a Scafell Mogolob
by Carpe Diem!On Monday, Dave, Jeff, Sarah, Al and I had planned to climb Scafell Pike. Sadly, adverse weather prevented this, but we had a wonderful day walking and clambering around the Ullswater area. We also planned some evening "competitions", which, for assorted reasons, also didn't reach fruition. Only mentioning this in case anyone is inclined to plough through the nonsense below. Oh...and please feel free to add your own musings!
Huge thanks to Dave for his hospitality, to him and Al for leading such a memorable walk and to Sarah and Jeff for their fun and company. To Rebel, Kip and Mollie , woofwoof, bark-woof, grrr, bark, woof-grrr...
Posted on 10/09/17
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Fantastical Fantasies of a Scafell Mogolob
on 07/09/17 @ 12:18Flippety-jippety, my fat hen,
we went up Scafell
then I went up again.
The crack around this,
my friends, is unique,
so into this tale
I'll give you a peek...
Al and Sarah, Dave and Jeff
(all who get quickly
out of breff),
I had to drag around, you see
(to the challenge, at first,
they responded with glee),
Al and Dave were chompin' to lead,
whilst Sarah and Jeff, some help did need...
Al looked smartish and Dave had a map,
but within a few feet, he started to flap,
Al soon looked worn and Jeff had a limp,
Sarah kept moanin',(a right little wimp).
CONTINUED...
on 07/09/17 @ 12:19So here was my chance
to harness my skills
to be the Big Leader
and champ-yon those hills,
I 'ad all the gear,
me cv is strong,
I marched to the front
and ad-dressed my throng.
A sorry sight, bedraggled and bent,
they needed coaxin'
but on we went...
as Sarah she crumbled,
Al, he mumbled,
Jeff looked confused
and Dave, he just bumbled.
But get there we did,
a summit quite fine,
yet even up there, they did nowt
but whine,
whinge and croak, and splutter and cough,
but I held my own,
and me Cub Cap did doff,
yes, all those years of scouting came good,
as I pulled those four down,
all covered in mud,
(Kip, Rebel and Mollie, were boundin',
in contrast,
(ashamed of their charges,
to me they stuck steadfast...)
CONTINUED...
on 07/09/17 @ 12:20POOH-STICKS - A JOYOUS DIVERSION...
Al offered his best,
but his stick was too frail,
mine sailed away,
he started to flail,
we couldn't spot
his meagre craft,
he burst into tears,
as the rest of us laughed...
ARM-WRESTLER SARAH'S SAD DEMISE...
Slippery-dippery, didgery-doo,
so now we come to you-know-who,
she TALKED the walk (and brought her dog),
but competitively-wise,
was in a fog...
Sarah's palm, 'twas in the air,
but when I looked,
it was nae there,
not knowing me strength,
ah'd slammed it down,
and foresaid Sarah
looked a clown...
At table-tennis, she fared e'en worse,
'twas almost like
a dreadful curse,
of trying hard wi' nowt to show,
"I'm off to bed,
I gotta go..."
proverbial tail,
between her legs,
an' there was me,
left wi' the dregs...
CONTINUED...
CDCarpe Diem! on 07/09/17 @ 12:22yep, Al, Dave and Jeff,
now drowsin' in stupor,
(looks like they're
in need of BUPA).
So ah left them there,
red-faced and supine,
an' Scafell on me own,
returned to climb...
up in an hour,
an' down in less
(unlike this morning's
hopeless mess),
not held back wi' tales of woe,
but a springy chicken,
wi' sprightly toe,
leaping over clumps and rocks,
an' I did it all
in me bright red socks,
ah din't have to listen
to those four's ills,
now I call me-self
"OD's Bear Grills"!
ENOUGH... let's get ready for Everest...Jx
Carpe Diem!: Jonathan, what can I say to this? Well done, although you may expect a few repercussions!
TOTrotOn on 07/09/17 @ 14:51It might add a little spice to the arm wrestling? 😉🤔🤔🤔🤔
The Magic Mushrooms, which you won, for coming SECOND, out of two in Pooh Sticks...were meant to help your literacy skills...not cause you to ad lib all this fantasy stuff.
Al and I care so much about you, even we wouldn't let you try and find Scafell Pike on your own, never mind climb it on your Cub Badge Map Skills Course. Do you actually own a map?
Lastly, Crap Diem!
I have checked the spelling, to the best of my ability...and it all looks right today.😋😋😋 😈
TrotOn: hmmmm ...spelling yes, punctuation debatable e.g. Skills'
on 07/09/17 @ 14:59TrotOn: ps I am not even gonna bother answering whether I own a map or not (...it's confidential...)
CDCarpe Diem! on 07/09/17 @ 15:00Carpe Diem!: That's a NO then?
on 07/09/17 @ 15:05What's "gonna" mean anyway?
TOTrotOn on 07/09/17 @ 15:06You were a teacher? No wunda I can't spell.
TrotOn: it's called a colloqweealism...I'll explain next time we meet
CDCarpe Diem! on 07/09/17 @ 15:09Carpe Diem!: Those mushrooms must still be working!
TOTrotOn on 07/09/17 @ 15:22You've just lost it son....are you feeling OK?
TrotOn: "son???" "SON???"...omg ...I knew it...this is my worst nightmare ...
CDCarpe Diem! on 07/09/17 @ 15:26🤔
on 07/09/17 @ 15:28Carpe Diem!: I will buy you a lolly next time I see you...to keep you silent.
TOTrotOn on 07/09/17 @ 15:30I might need a DNA sample from you...I was never that good at English...but always had an inbuilt sense of direction.😉
TrotOn: sorry ... my DNA is sacred ...
CDCarpe Diem! on 07/09/17 @ 16:21Carpe Diem!: Cheers but I have yours already....you left plenty of sweat on your beloved walking pole!!
TOTrotOn on 07/09/17 @ 17:27I had a nice coffee yesterday...at the quiet side of Ullswater.😀
catwalker: really??? I can't 😋
on 07/09/17 @ 18:05TrotOn: David, I don't break sweat when I walk with you...
CDCarpe Diem! on 07/09/17 @ 18:10Carpe Diem!: I promise to wipe your brow when you and Sarah have the arm wrestling match!
on 07/09/17 @ 18:27Plenty DNA then🙂
catwalker: Thanks...but I don't want to imagine meeting him again, anytime soon!
TOTrotOn on 07/09/17 @ 18:35TrotOn: come on D ... now I know you found the lessons hard....
CDCarpe Diem! on 07/09/17 @ 18:59Carpe Diem!: Yes....I know...you are right...the mushrooms must be affecting me too.
TOTrotOn on 07/09/17 @ 19:09So long, as you promise NEVER to lead a walk on your own!
Try and start with a long piece of string...then work up from there!
As you lost the whole cafe, the other day, when it was the only building in miles....I do get worried.
Just good that Al and I could show you where you left...your "chopstick"
hillmale: they were the only ones who could understand what you were saying! 😀
CDCarpe Diem! on 07/09/17 @ 23:16Carpe Diem!: Calm down Son....who are you picking a fight with now?😋
on 07/09/17 @ 23:27Carpe Diem!: How many mushrooms did you scoff?
on 07/09/17 @ 23:27Carpe Diem!: Rumour has it you are in hiding? 😀
on 08/09/17 @ 18:05What's worse...hilmale giving the little blighter a manhug OR Sarah snapping your little wrist at arm wrestling?
I still have Al's bag of cash on the outcome!!
Do you know how to apologise to everyone? 😋😋😉😀
Carpe Diem!: On second thoughts....are you lost again??
TOTrotOn on 08/09/17 @ 18:22😈😈😈
Really... what are you lot on! Is it a competition? 😋🤔
JaJanhk on 08/09/17 @ 20:35Janhk: I've had to put up with this all week! 😉Thank goodness the parole ends on Sunday🙂
CDCarpe Diem! on 08/09/17 @ 21:11Janhk: Carpe Diem! was awarded a prize for coming second out of two in Pooh Sticks.
TOTrotOn on 09/09/17 @ 21:27That's simply LAST with me, but we all felt sorry for the poor chap...so awarded him a carton of magic mushrooms, to help him produce a good poem...not this fantasy stuff he has come up with.🤔
Could I say Whine Diem, sorry! Carpe Diem that I won Pooh stick race which is one reason I'm a commander and you are bilge boy. The captain has yet to confirm your promotion to assistant Quarter master.....
ahalpine hiker on 10/09/17 @ 11:40alpine hiker: it's "SENIOR" QM...I realise your Pooh Sticks has hit you hard and I'm thinking of you🤔
on 10/09/17 @ 12:02alpine hiker: oh and please place the word "debacle" after "Sticks" x
CDCarpe Diem! on 10/09/17 @ 12:03Carpe Diem!: Your parole ends on which Sunday? You mentioned the third Sunday, March 2018?😋
TOTrotOn on 10/09/17 @ 22:38Ullswater Steamers are advertising a position of SQM on their boats next year. Are you applying? I won't say you lost Pooh Sticks by the width of the bridge to Al. Did you put yours in at the same time? 🤔
TrotOn: if you'd been awake you'd know the answers to all these questions! You would also know that they're confidential 😉
CDCarpe Diem! on 10/09/17 @ 23:29Carpe Diem!: I have noted, that when pressured to tell the truth, suddenly, all information becomes confidential.
on 10/09/17 @ 23:34Did you actually pass the entrance exam for Bilge Boy?
I need to see the documentation...not like last time...when you had written it yourself on toilet tissue😉
......and soiled, at that!!!!!!
TOTrotOn on 10/09/17 @ 23:37Back to top
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